Offline on Internet Street



A Polish man who bought a house on Internet Street in Warsaw is selling it because he can't get a broadband connection.

He said: "I have written dozens of letters to the national telecom regulator. They found that actually it was too expensive to put a line into the street just for me. So I am moving."

The regulator now plans to create a map showing the many 'blank areas' in Poland which still lack basic internet infrastructure. Only around 11% of the Polish population has access to broadband internet.

Saturday night thiever



A thief in Germany, plagued by guilt after robbing a kiosk, delivered a note of apology and paid compensation to the victims.

Police said the business in Kamen, near Unna in Germany, was broken into on a Saturday night and around €4,300 of cigarettes and alcohol were stolen.

Arriving for work on the following Thursday, staff were surprised to find an envelope stuffed with € 400 and a note which read "sorry -- to make up for Saturday night!"

Vandal granny



An 89-year-old grandmother has been ordered to knit sweaters for the owners of cars that she damaged.

Heidi Kohl was arrested after slashing car tyres in Rockenhausen, Germany. She said that so many cars parked in her road that residents could not find a safe place to cross. She cut the tyres on dozens of cars thinking that it would put people off parking there.

"I was fed up with the situation" she explained. Police tracked her down and she was given a fine. As she had no cash to pay she offered to knit jumpers for her victims instead. "When she's knitted the sweaters, then the matter will be over for us," said a prosecution spokesman.

Twitterature



Members of social networking site 'Twitter' have generated pithy versions of masterpieces of English literature. From these, Tim Collins compiled The Little Book Of Twitter, in which each of the lengthy works is reduced to just 140 characters; the maximum length of any 'tweet' — a message posted on the site.

It includes Shakespeare's Hamlet which becomes: 'Danish guy's mum marries his murdered father's brother. He sees his dad's ghost. Everyone dies.'

Wuthering Heights by Jane Austin is summed up as: 'Catherine Earnshaw marries Edgar Linton but really loves Heathcliff *sigh*.'Chaucer's magnus opus, The Canterbury Tales becomes: "Pilgrims tell each other stories while walking from London to Canterbury. Includes fart jokes. LOL!"

These shoes are made for talking



An Australian computer scientist has developed a mobile phone housed in a shoe. Mr Gardner-Stephen got a cobbler friend to embed a Motorola handset in the heel of one shoe and a Bluetooth headset in the other.

'It's surprising, your first thought is it's completely impractical, but it's actually not that bad - the phone rings, you slip off the shoe, you open the heel and press the button and you're talking in around the same time it would take to fumble in a bag and pull the phone out," he said.

Prison break



Six prisoners escaped a Canadian jail after spending four months chipping a path to freedom with nail clippers and other makeshift tools. The prisoners used their tools to remove a heating grill and steel plate and gain access to a brick exterior wall.

While some inmates played cards at a carefully positioned table to block the guards' view, others chipped away at the wall, finally breaking through with a steel shower rod. "Idle hands are the Devil's tools," said the government report, referring to the fact that prisoners at the Regina Correctional Center had little to do in the unit.

Remote plumber?



The British Antarctic Survey (BAS) has the perfect job for a plumber trying to get away from it all!

The BSA are trying to recruit a plumber for their research station on Bird Island, approximately 1,000 km south east of the Falkand Islands in the South Atlantic. The £22,340 salary may be low by UK standards, but accommodation is provided and living costs are next to nothing.

The applicant will "enjoy stunning scenery... no junk mail or television': Frozen pipes and maintaining heating in temperatures of -20° C should keep the plumber busy.

Lost in translation



A town council put up a road sign which read "I am out of the office at the moment."

Swansea Council in Wales contacted its in-house translation service when designing a bilingual sign barring heavy goods vehicles from a road. As the translator was not available, they received a response in Welsh saying: "I am not in the office at the moment."

Unaware of the real meaning, officials printed the text under the correct English wording on the sign saying "No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only."