"Healthy" beer tastes awful



A beer has been created that can prolong life and help avoid illness - but it tastes terrible.

The genetically-modified ale was produced by student researchers who have named it "BioBeer". It is brewed with yeast that produces resveratrol, a chemical in red wine thought to protect against heart disease, diabetes, cancer and Alzheimer's. The team are now working to overcome its "unappetising" taste.

The beer was created for a competition in Texas that tests GM products but it is unlikely to go on sale. Scientist Thomas Segall-Shapiro said: "No way would anyone drink this until it tastes better." Many of the scientists are too young to drink in the state, which bans alcohol consumption until 21.

Fully Equipped



Dozy thieves fled empty handed after stealing a caravan in Sweden - while the owner was fast asleep inside. Bjorn Feldbaek woke up to find himself being towed away in his mobile home after the crooks hitched it to their getaway car in Skovde.

Feldbaek said: "I woke up to find the caravan hurtling down the road. l had no idea what was going on and was scared stiff. Then it stopped and I heard someone opening the door and when I saw the thieves I just started screaming and screaming. They looked as scared as I did and just ran off. I guess it wasn't quite what they were expecting."

Foreign Accent Syndrome



Chris Gregory, Sheffield born and bred, has surprised doctors in the UK when he awoke from delicate brain surgery with a thick Irish accent. The 30-year-old landscaper spoke with a thick Dublin accent for 30 minutes after gaining consciousness and sung a version of "Danny Boy"to his wife.

Doctors claim the phenomena to be a classic case of Foreign Accent Syndrome which can, in extremely-rare neurological cases, affect a person's control of the lips, tongue and vocal cords.

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Credit crunch contest



A married Chinese tycoon who could no longer afford to support his 5 mistresses during the economic slowdown held a contest to decide which one to keep.

The contest took a tragic turn when one of the mistresses drove her former lover and the four other women off a mountain road in an apparent fit of anger. The driver died in crash while the man and four other women were hospitalised.

Initially, it was thought to be an accident, but then details of the bizarre contest emerged in a letter left by the dead woman, a 29-year-old former waitress.

Britain's laziest dog walker



Kevin Pyle has been named one of the laziest men in Britain for walking his pet dog while sitting in his car. Kevin is driven slowly around the block while holding a lead attached to his bull mastiff dog, which walks alongside. "It sounds terrible but it saves me from getting wet when it's raining. The dog really enjoys it and it saves my legs."

"My dad is the laziest person I know. When he gets in from work he has a bath and goes straight to bed. He just lies there and watches the TV," said his son, Karl. "He even shouts down the stairs for us to go up and turn the channel over for him."

€2,500 cab to Oktoberfest



A taxi driver drove a passenger 740 miles to the Munich beer festival. Mick Hogan from Portsmouth, England, thought his customer was joking until he explained that he had missed the last flight to a friend's stag trip at the Oktoberfest.

"I thought he was having a laugh or it was one of my friends playing a trick on me, but he was serious." said Mr Hogan.

He crossed France, Belgium and Luxembourg before reaching Munich, Germany, after 17 hours and dropping Dave in the city centre. "It's not something I'd want to do every day, but it beats taking a few pensioners to the shops."

Contact lenses for tigers



A German company is making contact lenses for animals, including lions, giraffes, tigers and bears, with cataracts.

S & V Technologies created the acrylic intraocular lenses which are custom made to fit each animal. The firm's happy clients include a sea lion with blurred vision at Sea World in San Diego, a formerly blind kangaroo at an Australian nature park and a partially sighted lioness at a Romanian zoo.

"Cataracts generally mean blindness for animals, unlike for humans,"said the head of the company's veterinary division. "And because animals have short lifespans, it means losing quality of life in a greater share of that life."