The End of Bushisms' Era



There is sure to be one aspect of Bush's presidency that will be missed: his unique way with the English language. Here are six of our favorite Bushisms:

I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas Girl, just like me. Nashville, Tennessee, May 27, 2004

The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the - the vast majority of Iraquis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice. Washington DC, October 27, 2003

As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards. CNN, August 30, 2000

Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country. Poplar Bluff, Missouri, September 6, 2004

For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times. Tokyo, February 18, 2002

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we. Washington DC, August 5, 2004

Crossword Clue



Police sent a caller off with more than just a cross word when she dialed and emergency number to ask for help with a clue.

An angry police officer in Grevenbroich, Germany, spelled out that Petra Hirsch would be facing a charge of wasting police time if she didn't clear the line.

Hirsch said: "I had finished the crossword except for this one answer and was totally stumped. I had looked all over the internet and asked friends. The clue was for the full name of a police border protection unit so I thought they would not mind helping and I called the hotline -but they were really rude."

A police spokesman said: "Crossword solutions are not an emergency."

Santa Claus is an "illegal immigrant"



The Speaker of the Russian Parliament, Boris Gryzlov, has claimed that Santa Claus is an impostor. Mr Gryzlov insisted that the only authentic figure was Ded Moroz, translated as Grandfather Frost, who is the traditional bringer of gifts to the Russian children.

"No one will ever be able to take away our great Ded Moroz from Russia - not Santa Claus or any of other impostors", he thundered.

Television reporters said that Gryzlov urged Santa Claus to "get out of his profession, at least in Russia. He is an illegal immigrant here."

Santa's Safety Training



Santas are going on health and safety courses so they don't hurt themselves balancing children on their knees. Lessons include the right posture to adopt in their chairs as excited youngsters queue to reel off their Christmas lists. They are also being taught how to lift heavy presents without causing themselves an injury.

The one-day courses are being staged by the UK's Chartered Institute of Environmental Health. A spokesman stressed: "Of course there's only one Santa-but hundreds of stand-ins work in stores in the run-up to Christmas."